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Grand Beginnings: Welcoming and Supporting First-Time Grandparents
How new parents can find ways to honor and include their parents for the multi-generational lovefest.
Aug 28, 2025
When a baby is born, life changes — especially for the new parents. But there’s another transformation that often happens to people who’ve already raised children of their own: the shift into grandparenthood.
“It’s a big life transition,” says Caitlyn McClure, a licensed clinical social worker and vice president of clinical services at Northern Illinois Recovery Center. “It’s exciting, emotional, and sometimes a little overwhelming. It often brings a mix of pride, joy, and reflection.”
As people live longer and remain active well into later life, grandparenting today is less a role of observation and more an evolving identity. It offers its own set of emotional complexities.
Entering a new chapter
Unlike parenthood, which is often marked by preparation and planning, grandparenthood can take many by surprise — especially in its emotional depth.
“It isn’t just about welcoming a new baby,” says Brian Lutz, a licensed marriage and family therapist and chief clinical officer at Blume Behavioral Health. “It’s about stepping into a new identity. I’ve sat with grandparents who didn’t expect the wave of feeling that hit them when they first held their grandchild. Some cried. Others couldn’t speak. But their eyes said everything.”
For older adults nearing retirement or adjusting to the "empty nest," this new role can offer a renewed sense of vitality.
“It can bring joy and a powerful sense of purpose,” says Nilou Esmaeilpour, a registered clinical counselor and founder of Lotus Therapy & Counselling Center. “Psychologically, grandparenting can help buffer against the feelings of aging or isolation. It reconnects people to family, to legacy, and to love.”
Small moments, lasting impact
For Perry Solomon, president of Solomon Growth Advisors and grandfather of six, becoming a grandparent has been a source of personal joy.
“Once a week, I have what I call ‘Grandpa Day’ with one of my grandkids,” Solomon says. “We share a meal and do something together — it might be simple, like going to the park or trying a new dessert. But that dedicated time creates a bond that’s uniquely ours.”
Solomon has seen how small moments ripple into lifelong meaning.
“When my first grandchild was two, I took her to a schoolyard to kick around a soccer ball,” he recalls. “I had no idea it would turn into a passion that led her to play Division I soccer in college.”
Another memory stands out just as vividly: “I helped one of my granddaughters dip a strawberry into a chocolate fountain when she was three. Now she’s 12 and already known as the future of craft chocolate. She’s been to trade shows, has a certificate from Utah State University, and talks about chocolate like a pro.”
Being welcomed into the circle
Despite the emotional significance of the grandparent role, it can be easy for new parents — overwhelmed and sleep-deprived — to unintentionally leave their own parents out of the picture.
Lutz encourages families to make space for grandparents early, even in small ways. “It doesn’t need to be a big production. Simple gestures like a framed photo, handwritten card, or a shared video call can help grandparents feel seen and included.”
For psychologist Laurie Zelinger, a grandmother of six, the moment she found out was unforgettable.
“A year after my son’s wedding, he and his wife gave us a photo album of the day,” she says. “We flipped through the pages, reliving the memories. Then, on the last page, there was a sonogram. I screamed with excitement.”
These early moments of inclusion can help grandparents ease into their new identity and set the tone for how involved they’ll be going forward.
Love fiercely, support quietly
Still, becoming a grandparent means learning to give up control and sometimes of old parenting instincts.
“You don’t get a say in how your grandchildren are raised, even when your maternal or paternal instincts kick in,” says Varda Meyers Epstein, a grandmother of 14 and editor in chief of Kars4Kids Parenting. “It can be difficult to hold your tongue. But that restraint is part of what defines the modern grandparent — loving fiercely, supporting quietly, and finding the balance between legacy and letting go.”
There’s no one way to be a grandparent. For some, it means weekly rituals and shared hobbies. For others, it’s the presence on the sidelines, cheering at soccer games, reading bedtime stories over FaceTime, or simply offering wisdom when asked.
“It’s one of life’s great privileges,” Solomon says. “To be part of your grandchildren’s lives in a way that’s meaningful, lasting, and full of heart. I didn’t expect it to feel this big. But it does.”
AUTHOR
Shari Goldhagen is a magazine writer and editor and the author of the novels Family and Other Accidents and In Some Other World, Maybe, as well as the YA novel 100 Days of Cake. Her work has appeared in scores of publications including, Cosmopolitan, salon.com, and Us Weekly. Though she somehow lives in Florida, she will always be a New Yorker at heart.
